you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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