i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
