We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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