So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
