Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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