Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Enjoy the penises
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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