Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
