Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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