Me too!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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