Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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