I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
