oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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