That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the day after is always just damage control
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
