Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
