It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
