i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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