quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
