By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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