Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
