grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
