drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
