brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
