I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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