I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
