I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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