don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
