i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
