i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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