spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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