Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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