ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
