Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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