very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
