I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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