Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
