your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
