Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
