Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
