I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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