He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Boobs are out for the taking
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
