You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
