I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
