Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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