i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
