never play flip cup with pint glasses
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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