Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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