i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
