She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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