So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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