Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
