I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
