stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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